Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Who do I want to be?

This morning I was thinking about some older people I know, and my mind began to wander (as usual). I wondered what I would be like 30 years from now.

What do I want to be like when I am old? Who do I want to be?

I want to enjoy life, whatever life I have in my body. I want to serve God and those around me. I want to pray and to be known as a woman of prayer. I want to always be learning, about God and His Word, about the world around me, about the people around me. I want to read good books, listen to good performances, but need few things. Whatever parts of me will move, I want to keep exercising. I want to explore foreign lands and people and culture and language, traveling if possible but just learning if not. I want my children to enjoy my presence, not feel pressured by it; I want them to feel my acceptance of them. I want my grandchildren to know that I love them, to feel it in my eyes and my face and my arms and my words. I want to know God more, to love Him more, to need Him more, to serve Him more, to trust Him more. That is who and what I want to be. Amen.

As I read what I had written, I thought about the fact that it is a New Year, a time when we traditionally look at the last year to evaluate it, look at the future to plan. If I want to be that older woman in the future, I should work to be that person now. As I grow older my mind will be much more entrenched and set, less flexible and able to change. My habits will rule my life. I will become more of who I am now.

Lord, make me who You want me to be. Keep sending me role models to inspire me.
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