Tuesday, December 18, 2007

My Life as a Dishcloth

I have been learning to knit. I have crocheted all my life; my grandmother taught me when I was small. But knitting has always eluded me. A lot of years ago I knitted one house-shoe; just one because it took me so long and took so much work that I couldn’t bear to do it all again on its mate. But for the past year my daughter has been knitting, and the texture drew me. So I made a few things on a Knifty Knitter Loom. That was so much fun that I picked up some needles and started knitting. Now I am knitting dishcloths. They are relatively small projects with an infinite variety of patterns, and I have enjoyed it immensely.

Right now I am working on a cloth that requires a bit of thinking to keep up with the pattern. I still have to think to knit anyway, so this one has been a challenge. Last night I sat down to knit and watch a movie. I got to the end of the 3rd row of the night, and found a mistake at the beginning of the row, 3 rows back. Ugh. So I pulled it out, one stitch at a time, all the way to the mistake. Started again. Did another 2 rows. Found another mistake. Pulled out a row and a half. This continued for 2 ½ hours. Knit, find a mistake, pull out, start again. At the end of my time, I was exactly 4 rows further along than when I started. Sigh. That’s really not a good return on my time investment! The first evening I started this cloth I got several rows in and had to unravel the whole thing, because I couldn’t figure out how to pick up my stitches as I pulled it out. So that night I had absolutely nothing to show for all the time I had spent. This has been a bit frustrating, but I do want the finished product. It looks really pretty, and I want to make it, so I keep working at it even though it would be easier to quit.

I can’t help but think that my own life is like that cloth. It seems to be going along just fine, and then a mistake shows up down the road. God unravels me to pull it out and start again. At the beginning, when He first saved me, He had to pull it all out and start over. God still has to pull out my mistakes on a regular basis, far too often. But He does so with infinite patience. Over and over again He works on my life, pulling out the fabric, changing the pattern, starting completely over in some areas. Why? Why is He so patient with me? Why does He keep working on me? Because He loves me. Because He knows what the finished product will look like, and that’s what He wants me to be. And He will never give up on me. How cool is that?

Psalm 139:13-16 – For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place. When I was sewn together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.

Rebecca A Givens, 12/12/07
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