The Lists

I want my spiritual life to be the best it can be.
I want to make the best use of my time.
I want to remember everything.
I want to get things done.
So I organize and I plan and I make lists: Reading lists, prayer lists, to-do lists.
Then I tend to do things just so I can check them off my list,
But that is not what I want.
I want it to mean something,
I want it to be real,
I want it to come from my heart, not from my list.
I don't want a list, I want a relationship.
Maybe that is the answer:
The motive
The focus
The purpose
Is it the prayer list
or the Person I am praying to
and the person I am concerned about?
Is it the reading list
or the Person I am reading and learning about?