I am sitting on my porch swing at 7am. It is pleasantly cool. I hear lots of different kinds of birds. The dog is lying on the porch, the cat is
sitting nearby. All seems peaceful. This peace is an illusion.
Five minutes ago was a completely different story. How can five minutes make so much
difference? But then I was cursing at
the dog who wouldn’t leave me alone. I
was spilling hot tea on my hand and burning it.
The inside cat was sitting on the window sill, and the outside cat was
hissing and spitting at him. Inside the
house the air conditioning has died.
There is no money to fix it. My
husband has no job, and the best possible lead did not send the offer letter
they said they would send. My emergency
stash is almost gone. I am frustrated
with teaching karate, and scared of being vulnerable in the Ladies’ Bible study
I joined.
This peace cannot be real, because the all the other stuff
is still there. God asks me the question
He asks me every day. “Becky, do you
trust Me?” I look back at the passage I
am trying to memorize in Ephesians. All
I can remember is “Therefore.” Therefore
there is now no condemnation. No, that’s
Romans 8. That chapter saved my sanity
years ago, maybe I should read it again now.
8 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who
are in Christ Jesus.
Yes. That’s me.
2 For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ
Jesus from the law of sin and death. 3 For God has done what
the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the
likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in
order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who
walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.
Oh. How do I walk according to the Spirit?
5 For
those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the
flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things
of the Spirit. 6 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but
to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.
Life
and Peace I want, but setting my mind on the Spirit is hard. Sometimes it seems impossible.
7 For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for
it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. 8 Those who
are in the flesh cannot please God.
9 You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in
fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of
Christ does not belong to him. 10 But if Christ is in you,
although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of
righteousness. 11 If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from
the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give
life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.
Christ is in me, the Spirit of
God dwells in me. God, who raised Christ
from the dead, will give life to my mortal body through His Spirit who dwells
in me.
Breath that in for a minute.
12 So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live
according to the flesh. 13 For if you live according to the
flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body,
you will live.
By
the Spirit… live. Not in my own strength
and self-sufficiency. Ugh.
14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15 For
you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have
received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” 16 The
Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and
if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ,
I am led by the Spirit because I
am a child of God. I am NOT a fearful
slave! I am an heir!
But
I am afraid. I am frustrated. I am depressed. How do I put all that to death?
By
the Spirit.
provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be
glorified with him.
I am an heir with Christ, which
means I will suffer with Him before I am glorified with Him. So I should not be surprised when I suffer
all manner of things.
18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are
not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
Are
my sufferings worse than Paul’s?
No. God forgive me.
19 For the
creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For
the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who
subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set
free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the
children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation has
been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now.
Frustration. That feeling that things are not what they
should be. Or not what I want them to
be. Futility. And there is nothing I can do about it.
Maybe that’s a clue. Maybe I’m
not supposed to do anything about it.
Creation waits and hopes for
freedom and glory in God. How do I do
that?
23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the
firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as
sons, the redemption of our bodies.
At the moment I have no idea
what those firstfruits are. Ah... Maybe
it’s the Spirit which is the deposit for my inheritance (Ephesians 1). I guess Ephesians is sinking in more than I
thought.
I definitely groan
inwardly. But I think I forgot what I
was waiting and hoping for. Am I waiting
eagerly for my final adoption as God’s child, the redemption of my body? The end of this earthly life of struggles and
the beginning of heaven? Is my hope in
that? No. I can’t see it.
But do I trust it? It is certainly more sure than a paycheck or
an air conditioner. More sure than my
backache getting better.
24 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not
hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for
what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
If I hope for what I do not see,
I must wait for it with patience. There
is literally no other choice. It’s
either hope and wait, or despair. Forgive
me Lord.
26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness.
Thank You Lord!
For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the
Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.
For the deep things. The things deeper than word or thought. The things no one else knows. The things I had to edit out of this list
before it went public.
27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the
Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of
God.
The Spirit only intercedes according to God’s will, He knows God’s mind.
I know that I cannot get away
from God’s will. Thank You God!
OK, this next part is huge.
28 And we know that for those who love God all things work
together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
So –
I am called
He has a plan
All
things are in that plan
All
things work together for that plan
His
plan is good.
29 For those whom he foreknew
Not just knew I would exist, but
knew me before I existed. Knew me. Knew me and my doubts and fears and failures
and sins.
he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son,
in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.
That is the plan – that I would
be His child and be conformed to Christ’s image. I am not His child if I am not being
conformed. That is sanctification.
30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom
he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.
Salvation: He predestined
He called
He justified
He glorified
All past tense. It’s a done deal. A sure thing.
But it’s just not finished yet.
31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us,
who can be against us?
God,
Creator, Sustainer, Planner for me. What
can be against me?
He is in control.
I am not.
But neither is Satan, or the
government, the fallen world, or any other person. All are subject to His plan.
32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all,
how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?
Isn’t
He going to take care of me?
33 Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God
who justifies. 34 Who is to condemn?
Yes. I am a failure at many things. Important things.
But God justified me! and I am not condemned!
And He’s not going to stop
there.
Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was
raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.
Christ is sitting at God’s right
hand, in a position of power. And He is
interceding for me too!
35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall
tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger,
or sword?
or
lack of a job
or
no air-conditioning
or
my own sin
or
my own fear
36 As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the
day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” 37 No,
in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
Through
Christ. Not on my own.
38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor
angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor
height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate
us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Not even the past. Nothing can separate me from the love of God.
And that, self, is where true peace lies.
